Sunday, April 18, 2010

60 WAYS TO KEEP THE LOVE OF YOUR WIFE. GAURANTEED!!!

1.Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE

2. When you go home say 'Assalmualikum. ' It kicks the shaitaan out of
your home!

3. Prophet (saw) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to take
care of this vessel that’s fragile. Remember that
there is goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.

4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT
IN PUBLIC as it’s a type of slandering.

5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED

6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.

7. AVOID ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet saw said if
your angry, sit down, if you’re sitting, then lie down. Follow the
sunnah!

8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!

9. Don’t be rigid. It will break you. Prophet (saw) said 'I am the best
amongst you and I am the best to my wife'. Being rigid and harsh will
not bring you close to Allah and neither does it make you more of a man.

10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER

11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a
marriage. Al zawai said 'When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will
leave
them to argue amongst themselves'.

12. Prophet (saw) said to call your wives with the best name, any name
she loves to hear. Prophet (saw) called Aisha 'ya Aish' as an endearment.


13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her
one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.

14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet (saw) said the tongue will throw people
in the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!

15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt)
will put barakh in your marriage.

16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.

17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and
dad etc.

18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.

19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realise that she is
wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.

20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet (saw)
said gifts increases love.

21. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something,
it will get rid of the rust and polish it!

22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think
good of people. Think good of your spouse.

23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of her
small mistakes. It was a practise of Ali (RA). It’s like
putting a hole in your memory. Don’t save it in your memory!

24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or
when she is on her monthly period.

25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.

26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking
after your children, she is much more than you, she is the
leader at home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your
successes.

27. Don't put your friends above your wife.

28. Help your wife at home. Prophet (saw) used to help his wives at home
and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.

29. Help her respect your parents, you can’t force her to love them, but
she can be helped to gradually love them.

30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.

31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love and
protect it.

32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It’s not your
business. The past is for Allah (swt).

33. Don't try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing
something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are the
courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. It’s
also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)

34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and wife
are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there
as a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the
shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded.
Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the
devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i
have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man
divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best job.


35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet (saw) taught us this.
It’s a blessing. The food doesn’t just go to her stomach, but straight to

her heart. It increases the love and mercy between you.

36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She is
like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human
devils and shitaan.

37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. IT’S A CHARITY.

38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. Or if there is
small thing she didn't like and you keep repeating them anyway, it will
create a wall between you. Don’t ignore them as it can become big.

39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw) 'if
you were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.' It
confirms prophet (saw) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.

40. Respect her thinking. It’s strength for you. Show you like her
thoughts and suggestions.

41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find
success within as her success is your success.

42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet (saw)
said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated tenderly.
Sometime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and appreciate
that feeling.

43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes them
appear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man
and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).

44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks
great, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.

45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.

46. Let her know you are travelling. Don't tell her out of the blue as
it’s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming back
also.

47. Don't leave the house as soon as trouble brews.

48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy and
secrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a
serious hole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against
leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick
and choose.

49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrah
together. It increases and strengthens the love when you help each
other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a
dars together etc.

50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your heart
and engraved in your conscious.

51. Allah( swt) said 'live with your wives in kindness.' Treat them with
kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat
her with goodness and fairness.

52. Prophet (saw) showed that there is a messenger at the time of
intimacy which is foreplay. Don’t jump on your wife like an animal!

53. When you have a dispute with your wife don’t tell everyone. It’s
like leaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share your
problems and disputes with.

54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of your
wife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that you love
her.

55. Don’t think you are always right. No matter how good you are you have
shortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect
in character was prophet (saw). Get rid of this disease.

56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.

57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong as
she is the fragile vessel. Prophet (saw) said that your wife is a
trust in your hand.

58. Remeand
Mercy. AMEEN
mber you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of
hardship.

59. Accept her as she is. Prophet (saw) said that women are created from
the rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will break her
(divorce). Prophet (saw) said that you may dislike one habit in her but
you will like another manner in her so accept her as she is.

60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors your
intention and your heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signs
is
that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find
repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy.
Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.

May Allah (swt) fill your homes and heart with tranquillity, love

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